Later, in 2016, early 2017, I tried to explain my feelings about Christmas and failed miserably. However, something good came out of the uncertainty.
When Christmas drew closer, it felt empty and foreign to me. Christmas has never felt like this. Since this hadn’t happened before, I set to the very serious task of determining was going on with me and my favorite holiday of the year.
It would’ve been quite easy at such a time to blame my religion and say, ‘ y religion failed me.’ I could easily have said something was missing from my religion, faith, etc. Had my religion and faith failed me? Was Christmas really just a commercial event after all?
Just because I didn’t feel Christmasy didn’t mean I stopped believing in God and His promises. I didn’t stop reading the Bible or praying, so I was t having a crisis in faith. Was it really so important I get into the social and commercial aspect of the time?
December 23rd I realized I wasn’t going to be able to make it to any of the Christmas services because of my health. Knowing this hurt almost like a physical pain. However, I wasn’t sad. Why? Why wasnt I sad?
The answer was surprisingly simple: I had, and still have, Hope in Christ.
Christmas is one of those times when Hope rises to the surface and society, people, let it remain there until the turning of the new year.
I wasn’t sad because Christ is my hope. Regardless of how I felt about the majority of the traditional celebrations this year, I still celebrated the descent of God Incarnate to humankind. I celebrated the hope in Christ of the Beginning and of His return. I hadn’t stopped enjoying the holiday at all. It had an expanded joy.
So, I opened presents and gave what few gifts I had to others while my Soul trilled with a deeper understanding.
How great is God! How boundless!